It was a dark Halloween night.
Siblings, Emma and Jack, discovered there was a haunted house only two blocks away, they
decided to go. However, their mom never knew they were going to a
haunted house, she assumed they were going trick-or-treating. They took their
flashlights with them and walked off to the haunted house. When they stepped on
the front porch, they rang the yellow
doorbell, nobody answered. They gingerly stepped into the house. The siblings turned on their
flashlights and started to examine the house. What they discovered was so remarkable; yet so terrifying, they found a ghost.
Great story!
ReplyDeleteWhen you wrote, However their mom never knew they were going to a haunted house, she thought they were going trick-or-treating. Why don't you change it to something along the lines of this, However, their mom did not know that they were to be going to a haunted house, she just assumed that they would go trick or treating.
you need a comma after however
ReplyDelete