100 wc
I was on a hike and I had taken my camera with me. I had to take pictures of nature for my
job, and I thought going on a hike would help.
When I was walking I saw a beautiful
scene, I snapped a picture of it. But I
was not paying attention to my surroundings and I stepped in mud. My shoe was all brown.
I continued walking but
then all of a sudden, I tripped over a hard
rock. I became worried because my knee was bleeding. After the hike I decided not to go on one again
when I am taking pictures.
Maybe you should change your first sentence to read, I was on a hike and I had taken my camera with me.
ReplyDeleteIn your second sentence instead of the word 'so' change it to 'and'. Maybe rephrase it as well to read, Taking pictures of nature was my job and I assumed going on a hike was the best way to get photos.
In the second paragraph the first sentence should have a comma between sudden and I. So it should read...
ReplyDeleteI continued walking but then all of a sudden, I tripped over a hard rock.
Very nice story but you should make these changes
ReplyDelete-In your first paragraph second sentence you put a comma before the word 'and' If you have 'and' then you do not need a comma before it.
- also in your first paragraph and second sentence you wrote 'going' I think you should change it to 'to go'
-also in your 2nd paragraph in the 3rd sentence I think you need a comma after the word 'hike'
overall very nice story.